I’ve got a confession to make…
Last year before I set off to live the elusive ‘laptop lifestyle’, I had very questionable ideas around what female empowerment, or empowerment of any kind really meant.
I subconsciously held the belief that being truly empowered meant we need to have everything ‘sorted’ in our lives, to be bursting with confidence, positivity that never ends, that we don’t ‘need’ anyone (including a partner), that every area of our life needs to be firing on all cylinders, and that we have to be in total ‘control’.
Essentially, I was unconsciously striving for perfection. I even ran a huge online summit called The Empowered Woman centered around how to shift self doubt and ‘bust’ through limiting beliefs.
It’s not that I didn’t enjoy every moment of running that event, but there was a pressure it had added to me as a person that I hadn’t accounted for. Somewhere, deep down, I was still striving for perfection, just as I had been in every area of life until last year.
The kind of bubbling pressure this warped sense of wanting to be ‘perfect’ and amazing at everything creates is so far from real and so far from the truth it’s not even funny.
What I’ve had to painfully learn, or should I say re-learn, is that true empowerment isn’t the woman, or the man, who has it all together all the time.
Our true empowerment and our most empowered moments lie within our vulnerability.
The moments when we have the courage to stop pretending and speak the truth, even if we are at our most raw and beaten-down and might not be doing it very well.
The moments when we realise everything is coming crashing down around us and there’s nothing we can do.
The moments when we have the courage to remove ourselves from things we no are no longer working.
The moments when we know we have to decide to admit something hasn’t worked out and create an entirely different plan.
Empowerment isn’t about being ‘fearless’. Show me a totally fearless person and I will show you a unicorn. They don’t exist. True empowerment is holding space for ourselves to be whatever we need to be in the moment and to be ok with that.
We won’t always realise this when we have been whittled down and are around people who can’t help us hold that space for ourselves. If we’re only around people who can accept us when we’re positive and happy, and reject or are repulsed by us when we’re low, these people are actually dis-empowering us and more often than not, feeding off our energy.
So don’t ever feel weak or ashamed for not being able to live up to what you also may have thought was this idea of true ’empowerment’. You are at your most empowered when you are able to connect with and feel EVERY single one of your emotions and allow yourself to be in that space without judgement.
I’d love to know your experiences with empowerment and how you may have constructed what you think that means. Have you been pressuring yourself to live up to a false view of the meaning of the empowered woman or man?
Leave a comment below. x
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